We all, from time to time, get so wrapped up in our own world that we sometimes forget to show the love we owe to our wives, husbands, boy/girlfriends, friends, children and parents.
I came across this simple story and it certainly made me think. Take a look and if it somehow rings a bell with you, leave a comment.
If nothing else please feel free to share it with whoever matters in your life. I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now.
“The Wooden Bowl”
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.
The family ate together at the table .. But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. “We must do something about father,” said the son. “I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.”
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl!
When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction, sometime he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.
The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?”
Just as sweetly, the boy responded, “Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.” The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.
The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.
That evening the husband took Grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.
On a positive note, I’ve learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
I’ve learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.
I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life…”
I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.
I’ve learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.
People love that human touch — holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn!
I’ve learned that you should pass this on to everyone you care about. I just did.
NOTICE AT THE END, THE DATE THE CANDLE WAS STARTED. GONNA GIVE YOU
GOOSE BUMPS.
I am not going to be the one who lets it die. I found it believable — angels have walked beside me all my life–and they still do.
The Candle Of Love, Hope & Friendship
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This candle was lit on September, 15, 1998.
Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend
Think about this simple story. It’s not just about eating from a wooden bowl but about all the little things we have allowed to become important. Most of them really do not matter much.
Do you ever feel like you’ve tried just about everything to create something in your life yet, for some unknown reason, it keeps alluding you? You try and try and even struggle to get what you want and still come up short. many of us just end up giving up out of pure exhaustion and frustration.
Well, the truth is that just at that point of exhaustion and frustration you are closer to manifesting than you think.
Why is this so?
The reason anything in our lives is difficult to manifest or create is because we have an unconscious block that prevents us from manifesting that desire.
Our feelings of frustration are trying to help us and tell us something is going on deep within. Something that needs our attention, love and acceptance.
Have you heard of the ‘Law of Attraction’? Well, it’s real. These unconscious blocks act like a magnet to keep attracting the same old same old to us until they are cleared.
I had been struggling to grow my business for almost a year. For years I had tried and tried to start my own business. I was never short of ideas, always full of energy, very customer orientated and would dive in head first and spend hours, days, even months planning and setting everything up. I did this over and over again but somehow never progressed beyond this point.
I read ‘How To’ books until I had a bookcase full but still without any success. Until, I bagan to seek the underlying reason or cause why my business ideas would never succeed. I finally got to the core issue and for me it was ‘fear of failure and deserving’.
I discovered this began in my childhood. My father was a school teacher, who in those days were not paid well for what they did. Although we never went without money was always tight and my father always said that those with wealth or with their own business must be up to some fiddle!
I began to identify my limiting belief of ‘I don’t deserve’ and ‘all business owners are crooked’ and clear them.
The results were amazing. Suddenly I was able to take my business seyond the set-up point and began to obtain customers and to see the beginnings of success.
I feel lighter. I had no idea I was attracting experiences that were reinforcing my unconscious beliefs that ‘I was afraid of success’. I can now see how this limiting belief had woven its way through much of my life and experiences.
Until we become aware of our unconscious beliefs and thoughts, we will continue to create the same struggles and challenges in our lives. we don’t realise it, but the beliefs and thoughts that lie in the subconscious were created as far back as our early childhood. It is a fact that by the age of 7 a child either believes the world is safe or not, and that he or she is lovable or not lovable.
Those beliefs play themselves out in our everyday lives, attracting to us the like vibrations and reinforcing the limiting beliefs. Not only in business but with our health and relationships.
What can we do about it?
We need to find a way to journey within and identify these unconscious beliefs and clear them. Take some time for meditation using guided imagery. Work with your subconscious to gently come to understand your own blocks.
Find a few minutes every day and you will be amazed at just how quickly you can discover and clear these negative blockages,
If you need help in finding a way to commence your journey of discovery, then I can recommend a great resource which I know will help you.
Life is like a road. There are long and short roads; smooth and
rocky roads; crooked and straight paths. In our life many roads
come our way as we journey through life. There are roads that
lead to a life of single blessedness, marriage, and religious
vocation. There are also roads that lead to fame and fortune on one
hand, or isolation and poverty on the other. There are roads to
happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and
jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment.
Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in
life. Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is
a crossroad. With four roads to choose from and with limited
knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take? What is
the guarantee that you would choose the right one along the way?
Would you take any road, or just stay where you are: in front of a
crossroad?
There are no guarantees.
You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take
it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important
things you need to realize about life. Nobody said that choosing to
do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness.
Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would
be returned. Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness.
Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip
short up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are
highly qualified and competent. There are too many possible
outcomes, which you really cannot control. The only thing you have
power over is the decisions that you will make, and how you would
act and react to different situations.
Wrong decisions are always at hindsight.
Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have
gone along with it? Perhaps not. Why would you choose a certain
path when you know it would get you lost? Why make a certain
decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the
right one. It is only after you have made a decision and reflected
on it that you realize its soundness. If the consequences or
outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly.
Otherwise, your decision was wrong.
Take the risk: decide.
Since life offers no guarantee and you would never know that your
decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as
well take the risk and decide. It is definitely better than keeping
yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could
get you lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an
opportunity for an adventure, or even open more roads. It is all a
matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost
traveller or an accidental tourist of life. But be careful that
you do not make decisions haphazardly. Taking risks is not about
being careless and stupid. Here are some pointers that could help
you choose the best option in the face of life’s crossroads:
- Obtain as much information as you can about your situation.
You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little
about what you are faced with. Just like any news reporter, ask the
5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who
are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this
leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the
possible questions to ask to know more about your situation. This
is important. Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of
information about a situation.
- Identify and create options.
What options does the situation give you? Sometimes the options are
few, but sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you
think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that
you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most
simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not
shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the
most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end.
You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make
more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that
you make the decision yourself in the end.
- Weigh the pros and cons of every option.
Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages
it offers you. In this way, you get more insights about the
consequences of such an option.
- Trust yourself and make that decision.
Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust
yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions
are always at hindsight. So choose… decide… believe that you are
choosing the best option at this point in time.
Now that you have made a decision, be ready to face its
consequences: good and bad. It may take you to a place of promise
or to a land of problems. But the important thing is that you have
chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a
passive audience to your own life. Whether it is the right decision
or not, only time can tell. But do not regret it whatever the
outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have
the chance to make better decisions in the future.
Bob Lampard
Your comments and suggestions are always welcome. Please tell us what you think.
“What nasty remarks could be stopping you from trying something new?”
As a child were you ever told you couldn’t sing, or dance or do something? Or worse, were you laughted at and teased when you tried to do something?
Did that unpleasant experience put you off doing that activity again, even though it might have been something you loved?
It happened to me. I loved singing- until the day the whole holiday camp laughted at me when I was singing my own, very tuneful version of “Baby I Don’t Care” and I never sang in public again.
My eldest daughter, Helen, had a similar experience with Art at school. She was told she could not draw, her pictures were out of proportion and she was doing it all wrong. She was made to feel thoroughly useless at Art and Drawing.
So, when I suggested she redesign my pub’s signpost at the request of the brewery, Helen’s enthusiasm level was not very high.
She gave it a try, fully expecting it to be rejected. Judging by her face when it was finished, I thought it had been a really bad idea. However, the brewery loved it and commissioned it to be made.
She has taken a real shine to drawing and design and found she has a natural talent for it.
What negative experience from childhood could be stopping you from doing something that would give you real pleasure?
I came across this letter by Sally Brompton, who writes for the Sunday Times on the ’subject of love’ and felt I ought to share it with you.
See what you think and let me have your comments.
Last year, I asked a friend what his new year’s resolutions might be. He said he didn’t make resolutions. He set goals. There were quite a few, he said, but by far the most important was, “To love and be loved.” Adorable, no? Most people would simply say they want to find love, a relationship or a boyfriend, as if love was a state of having rather than one of sharing.
That friend has still not found love, which drives his closest friend, my normally sane husband, to the conclusion that all women are in some way mad. It may be because he tucks his T-shirts into his trousers. Still, you’d think anyone would jump at the chance to be loved by someone who understands that losing is the better part of love.
But most of us, sadly, are weirdly had at being loved, perhaps because we find it hard to believe that we are lovable. You cannot accept love if you think you might be unworthy in some way. The real luxury of love is being at ease in ourselves. We might catch the odd, fleeting glimpse, when our child smiles, when the person we love looks at us and thinks that we are perfect, when, for just a moment, this difficult, disjointed universe holds its breath. Or we might try to create it in ourselves.
We talk, in the vaguest way, about “finding love”, as if it is some rare butterfly that must be netted, rather than an act of conscious effort. We rarely talk about wanting to “give love”, but instead focus on giddy happiness and a world suddenly transformed and made wonderful. We want love to be done to us.
But love comes in two parts — receiving and giving. Love is seeing another person as they are (rather than as we want them to be). And it is allowing ourselves to be seen as we truly are — all flaws and frailties forgiven. My husband does not buy me diamonds or handbags or fine leather shoes, but every time he goes to the supermarket, he never forgets to buy a crate of my favourite Diet Coke (of which he strongly disapproves), and he has never once taken me to task for the cigarettes I love so much. He does not try to change me, but leaves the question of giving them up to me, which I will one day.
My favourite therapist says there are only two pure emotions — love and fear. “Live in love,” she says, not as an idle instruction from a self-help manual, but as a serious act that requires discipline, focus and intense effort. For me, this may mean accepting my husband’s occasional dark mood as his own, and not mine to take personally, and giving him a hug rather than a cold shoulder. Or it may simply mean smiling at a stranger. I know if I live in love, the world seems better.
Every morning, very early, I take my teenage daughter to the Tube to go to school. Inevitably, this being the inner city, there is somebody ranting on the pavement, mad with drink or crack. The first time it happened, Molly was so frightened, she wanted to cross the road. I held her hand and we both said, “Good morning,” smiling at the woman who was shouting. A hand shot out to pat Molly clumsily on the shoulder. “Sorry, love. Didn’t mean no harm. You have a good morning too.”
We are all frightened. None of us feels good enough, so we turn inward, not outward — to drink, to drugs, to food, to loneliness. We are blinded by self-absorption. We forget that we are all in this together. Just the other day, when life seemed difficult and hostile, I found a text message on my phone from a friend. “Don’t ever forget how much you are loved.” It was a small gesture, born out of enormous generosity. Immediately, it made the world seem better. And that is the luxury of love.
Following on from my last post The Secret to a Perfect Day I want to share a video with you.
Look, listen and be inspired by this powerful message on grateful living. One of the quickest ways to change your life is to be grateful for the abundance you already have.
It is a proven fact that if you start your day with bad or negative thoughts, this will determine how the rest of the day is going to unfold.
If you wake up and think “Oh no…another day in that awful job” or “Here we go again…lousy job…no money…roll on the weekend”. Guess what’s going to happen?
You will get out of bed and likely stub your toe on the bed-leg or a toy your children left lying around!
The toothpaste will develop a mind of it’s own and try to empty itself on your toothbrush!
Careful, or you will cut yourself with the razor!
Then you will get caught in a traffic jam and arrive late for work!
Someone will nudge you and cause you to spill coffee on your shirt or blouse!
The day will seem to go from bad to worse.
WHY???
Because you sent out negative vibrations and the law of attraction and vibration simply returned more of the same.
WHAT TO DO???
Choose to start your day with a positive thought. Difficult I know if your situation is as I have just described. Better to think “What can I do about my job? How can I find a better one? I am going to be happy today”
Also, start your day with thoughts of gratitude. Don’t have anything to be grateful for? Be grateful for being granted another day. If the sun is shining, be grateful for the warmth. If it is raining, be grateful for the flowers that will grow with the help of the rain.
Don’t just say the words. Mean them. Feel them until you feel the tingle down your spine and the tears in your eyes.
When you first set out to change your life, you look around at;
Who you are
Where you live
How much you earn
Your debts
Your relationship
and you cannot help feel disheartened and discouraged.
You say to yourself ’How am I ever going to achieve my dreams with all that’s going on around me?’
However, you HAVE decided to do something about it, and I want to tell you that it is as simple as flipping the coin, metaphorically speaking.
See where you are now and where you want to be as being opposite sides of a coin. Your decision to change your life is a simple matter of flipping the coin to the other side. Nothing difficult or complicated about it apart from how your mind is viewing it.
Standing before you are the problems you seem to have been facing all your life. You have been fighting and trying to avoid them until you are exhausted.
Remember though, they are here because of what you have been doing up till now. The fact they exist is to teach you valuable lessons and to help you grow.
So, I urge you to flip the coin of life from the side that is saying ‘It is hopeless, I am stuck with all this’ to the side that says ‘I can and I willdo something and change my life’
Then go do it!
Bob Lampard
P.S. Why not share your comments and tell us what you think?
One of the main criteria of consciousness for the human experience is never having all you want. As you achieve one dream, another swiftly takes it’s place. Not having all you want is one of life’s constants.
Learning to be happy whilst not yet having all you want (which, as you can see, is constant) is the first criteria of joy. So, ‘nail it’ and for the rest of your life people will be asking what it is about you.
Desire is a beautiful thing.
What, I hear you asking, has this got to do with me changing the theme of my blog?
Well, I too was not happy with the way the blog looked and was spending hours trying to find a theme that portrayed what it was all about. It just didn’t seem to exist.
I too, am always looking to improve my life as well as everything I do and its Autumn or Fall. I loved the colours and, hey, I can change it again whenever I want.
Believe me I am no techie when it comes to the Internet, but I learned to change the theme of my blog. Only a small step, but I now have the confidence to do it again!
Are you thinking that your spouse is no longer the person you had hoped they would be?
Do you look around and see your friends and acquaintances with seemingly fulfilling marriages and feel you may be missing out?
If this is all getting too much for you and you just cannot see the future in your marriage and are thinking about giving up…..
STOP RIGHT THERE!
Before you throw in the towel, or worse, start looking for a ‘quick fix’ with a short term fling to ‘get you through’….. I have some good news for you.
“Your marriage might not be as dismal as you think!”
The first thing to do is stop and think why you married your spouse in the first place. The chances are it was a sexual and emotional attraction. Having fun together both in and out of bed are the main reasons we pick our future spouse.
Most of us marry someone who has the same values as ourselves, but who often has different personality characteristics to ourselves. Outgoing, extrovert personalities often marry people with quiet and introvert personalities. Those who ‘get things done’ marry people who like to ‘think things through’. At first this all seems great.
When we first fall in love we do not look at our partners with a critical eye. We love the fact they are different to ourselves. Ok, they might have lacked a little in punctuality or decorum but, hey, they made us laugh.
But now we have other things on our plate than just sexual attraction. we have a mortgage to pay, children need to be attended to. In the cold light of day we forget the reasons we married and start paying too much attention to our spouse’s imperfections.
If we are not careful we mentally start to focus on what our spouse is not, and end up disappointed. Chances are our partner may be doing just the same!
If this is happening in your marriage it is time to stop and remember the person who youmarried and why you married them. take some time to think what that means for your future together. It should give you a much better and positive picture of the future.
The answer to finding happiness in your marriage again is:
Accept your spouse exactly as they are
Remember and love those things which attracted you in the first place
Enjoy again those things just as you did before you were married.
Free yourself from feeling resentful. Give them some help in the areas they have problems and you will find they will start doing the same for you without you having to ask.
Who know you may just start to enjoy your marriage again!
The Subject of Love 
